Update: Healing and Hopeful

You’re probably wondering what the heck this means. Well, this summer I haven’t had much time or energy for knitting…or crafting of any kind. I hadn’t been feeling like myself. My energy was low, I was feeling nauseas, bloated, and just run down. Then came the pain. Well, after talking to a few healthcare professionals, it sounded like endometriosis was bringing me down. If you want to stick around I’ll give you more of an update, it not and all you care about are the knitting patterns and pretty things, stick around because I’m healing and hopeful that these will resume…soon.

Just What am I Healing From?

Now that our family is complete with two beautiful, happy, and healthy children (and our dog Murphy) we decided to take the serious treatment option of having a hysterectomy. I could have opted for birth control, an IUD, or other forms of mitigation, but all come with some risk of having a flare up again. This flare up lasted, well indefinitely, and took me away from life. That means ultimately it took me away from being a mom to my children, and that is my first and most important job.

It took a few providers, and a month to schedule, but I’ve had the hysterectomy…well I had more than that…they took a bunch of stuff out. So yes, I’m healing and hopeful that there won’t be a repeat. Now never say never right? Because they left my ovaries, there is still a chance that this could knock me down again. That’s where the hopeful part comes into play.

How Bad Is It?

I’m not going to lie. Being young, I thought this will be like a few days and then I’ll be back to normal. The first night home, I thought I should have stayed in the hospital. The pain was pretty bad. But my nurse, aka my husband, took really good care of me and stayed on top of my pain management. Now the pain is moderate but my energy levels are still not what I’d hope they would be. So, no I haven’t been knitting, yet. I hope to pick my needles back up soon because it’s really starting to get to me. Also, I miss embroidering more than I thought I would.

What Else Have I Learned?

Family time is the most precious time. Watching my parents, in-laws, and friends help with the kids as I’ve been side lined has really shown me how precious my kiddos are to me. And it’s taught me how thankful I am to be there mom and work as a stay at home mom for them. Sometimes life can shift and other priorities can snake their way out of place and this has really brought everything home for me.

Downtime isn’t wasted time. Typically I have to be doing something. If I’m sitting I’m knitting, or stitching, or writing, or planning. But this has really knocked me on my butt and forced me to just sit. I’ve watched some TV, picked back up my love for reading, done some word searches, and now with a headache, I’ve just laid there and listened to some podcasts. It’s all been helpful to reset and refocus.

I had been really hard on my body before the surgery. Now the fog is lifting and I’m once again able to be proud of what my body has done, what it’s capable of. I can see this as another chapter, or period of growth, not just of healing. And I’m looking forward, hence the healing and hopeful bit.

Also, I’ve learned who really cares about me. The people who have reached out to me, have shown who really is in my corner when the light begins to dim. I’ve got a lot of time on my hands right now and I’m doing a fair amount of thinking, when the pain will let me. And I’ve got some priorities to shift, some fat to trim, and to adjust my focus a bit in life. So this is another positive learning experience for me.

Update:

My pathology came back and there was nothing detected! Not even endometriosis! So it looks like I’m in the clear for anything we thought it could be. At first that was frightening because it sounded like maybe it could have been something else and happen again. But for now I’m getting back to myself and diving into decorating!